01-07-01 - Episode 5
Feel like a dork. Screwed up my date with the Chiropractor. Boy do I suck as a gay man! After Doctor Dave dropped me off (dumped me off - more like it). I went to Babylon to look for some physical "approval." So stupid. I guess I wanted some assurance I hadn't suddenly turned into a troll. I just wanted someone to come up to me and say, "Michael you are a damn cute looking guy! What does that stupid chiropractor know?"
When I got there I felt so depressed I almost walked back out. But then a funny thing happened: THEY WERE ALL OVER ME. Maybe it was because I had borrowed Brian's clothes, or maybe being dumped makes me more attractive... maybe it gives my boyish good looks the edge they need (ha, ha) I don't know. Really weird. It felt really powerful, like I was the most popular guy in the club - like Brian must feel... like some super hero... Captian Astro cruises Babylon!
01-21-01 - Episode 6
Are all gay couples unhappy? Do they all cheat? Or is this just another example of me being brainwashed by Brian. I did see a book at the Barnes and Noble which talked about all these famous queer guys who've been in really long relationships. (Can't remember their names, but I know there was a long list, and they were all sort of really important.) So, maybe I'll make the list someday. What's to say I can't be part of a happy queer couple. But what if I end up like all those other couples - the gay "sweater set"? Those slightly out-of-shape guys you see all the time at home improvement stores? The ones who bore you with stories of how much it cost to renovate their country house, or how they took the most romantic camping trip (without any references to Joan Crawford or Betty Davis)? I hate how they always order for each other and answer for each other and remind each other about their diets and ALWAYS use plural pronouns to refer to themselves: "WE'RE fixing up OUR house, so it will make US better than lonely little you." THEY'RE so damn boring! I NEVER want to be part of a couple like that! No wonder they're always throwing their home renovations in your face. They're clearly jealous and miserable and want to punish you for being single! Is that what I'm heading for with David? Tag-team toilet makeovers? No way. David and I are DEFINITELY NOT A COUPLE! He's just a guy I'm "dating"... or rather "going out on dates with" ... NOTHING SERIOUS... I don't think... If he ever mentions Home Depot to me I'll shove a paint roller down his throat.
01-28-01 - Episode 7
Had the weirdest dream last night. I was restocking feminine napkins on the shelves at the Big-Q when I felt this tap on my shoulder. It was Captain Astro - or that's who I thought it was... He was dressed like the Captain anyway. He said something about it being wrong that someone with my super powers should be stuck making sure the women of Pittsburgh had easy access to tampons. Then, he said he was going to rescue me, and take me to a place where I would be able to utilize my super hero abilities. I said something like "cool" or some other really lame response... Anyway, we started to fly through the store and out the front door... It felt totally awesome! Next thing I know we're flying across the sky and I'm all wrapped up in Captain Astro's arms. I notice they're pretty muscular, and I'm feeling all sexy and stuff and I turn to look at him and it's not Captain Astro at all: It's David! I start to get scared and say, "Hey, you're just a chiropractor, you don't know how to fly!" But he just laughs and says he took a weekend seminar in flying at the Learning Annex. I feel really good about this, and I'm really enjoying looking down at all the poor losers stuck on the ground. We fly over Marley's (from the Big Q) house and she looks up and spits the beer she's drinking all over her fat husband. I start cracking up... but then I stop... because I'm falling... I realize David dropped me - ON PURPOSE! As I'm falling I look up to scream to David for help, but he isn't even looking at me. He's looking at someone else... at Brian. It seems Brian took the same course and has flown up next to David and started cruising him - IN MID AIR!
